And some knitting.. And penguins...

                                                              Drops eyelet baby cardi

Follow your arrow knitalong. Um, that finished in Feb. But anyway...

 

Woah!, what a trip.

Little sweet pea is sleeping through till 5am and although I haven't had one full nights sleep since..um August 25th 2013 (that's like almost a year isn't it!) I am slightly able to engage with life again and remember why people do creative stuff that has absolutely no purpose but is just fun. Imagine having the energy to just do stuff for the hell of it and no other reason. I hope and deeply wish my body will return to a place of energy and frivolousness. Enough to knit, or draw or dream. Deep breath.
She's ten months old, won't let me put her down for a second, and to me, is utterly delicious.

Here we are on hols in a cottage at the beach. Mmmmm beaches, deep love for beaches and their skies. I found myself watching shapes in the cotton wool kiddie drawn clouds and hunting for shells and perfect pebbles with the littlies. Idleness, fresh winds, hot sun, empty days, big and little sandy feet and sleeeeeeeep. xxx

On the impossibility of getting toddlers to pose for their knitwear shoots...

                           

  But then who would want them to - clothes are for having fun in afterall. This is a new 'In Three's' cardigan. So useful, easy to get on a moving toddler and will last for ages as the fit is so versatile. Everyone should have one. x

Pink knitting needles!

Is it wrong to feel this happy about them?

What good days are made of

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, prepped, fed and washed up, packed snacks, naps, quick coffee with friends, gentle chores steadily done, fresh parcels, cuddles, scrubbed clean pyjama play, foolish dancing, grown up time and the promise of sleep in a soft bed. A day that feels full and ample in its everydayness and modest ambitions, but what gifts and blessings! I feel lucky that today was one of my days.

Gratitude

I wanted this blog to be a gratitude blog to help me appreciate the good stuff in life. But it seems to be more a reflection on those moments of insight that descend when you least expect them. A blog about moments.
That's fine, things have a way of finding their own form.
But for today, I'm going to force it's hand and write down some things I'm grateful for. This week has been tough but there have still been such good things in it.
First. My sweet daughters. I am inside out with gratitude for their every breath. Every day. Nothing is too hard to bear just as long as they are ok. My heart aches with what I feel for them. I am deeply grateful with every molecule of my body for every living molecule of theirs.
The wonderful comfort of a flickering warm open fire. We humans are deeply drawn to it and it is heartwarming indeed.
Meaningful food - the delicious chai I've just made. Home made chocolate cake. Hot coffee. Toast and marmalade. Fresh salads. Ahhhh blessings indeed.
The Alpaca yarn I'm knitting a new baby cardi with - feather soft. Aqua blue. Heaven.
The sea, the ocean, the wide deep salty pools of the Welsh coast. I will always love them.
Art - currently deeply inspired by Louis Bourgeois. What a woman.
Meditation - what an awesome tool, why do I always put it off when it does me so much healthful good.
Toasty socks, fresh tea, clean jeans, white t-shirts, peacocks and fabulous feathers, books of wisdom and knitting, snuggly cashmere cardigans, documentaries, naps, sparkles, shawls/wraps and handknitted blankets from friends. Photography. Clearing out cosy minimalist spaces, hot showers, sunshine on water, organic healthful skin products, massage, sleep on fluffy pillows, connections with new people, communities and social media. Contact. My amazing and awesomely inspiring friends. The cleanliness of a vegetarian diet.
This is my deliciousness this week. Thank you to whome it may concern. I have been blessed this week and I am grateful. xxx

Going with the Programme

I've never been able to stick to plans. Even growing up I was incapable of following instructions and felt compelled to always invent new ways of doing things. This is both a creative blessing but also something of a curse because some essential rebelliousness within me, some fiercely independant core is always vigilant lest I fall asleep at the wheel and give someone else the controls. It just won't allow me to draw within the lines. The up side is that this brings me energy and an urge to always invent but you know, it's exhausting, it wears me out, it's often unnecessary and sometimes, just sometimes, going with a plan, a pre-determined path and someone else's ideas is just fine. It's a struggle to let go but when I do, it's blissful.

This is the joy of the craft kit. I'm still savouring my fair isle arm warmers and although it's not sold as a kit I'm following the pattern to the letter with the precisely specified yarn and needles. My mind is eased by the lack of decision making. I give my trust to the designer of these wonderful objects and my tangled mind breathes a sigh of relief. The pressure is off.

Learning to paint by numbers took me 37 years to discover and the realization that there is something profound in trusting the knowledge of others came to me as an insight on Galapagos.

Eco-tourism permits require strict regulation of visitors to minimise the environmental impact. There's no off-roading here or inventing your own itinerary. As I was chaperoned around an island covered in nesting boobies, iguanas and sea lions I recall the clear and profound moment I stopped fighting. I relented and let the guides decide how long I was allowed to linger (I love spending time to suck the marrow out of experiences) but I discovered the time was just perfectly enough because it focused and opened my mind to relishing the moments I had and it was the imperfection of the moment that made it all the more vivid. I went with the programme and the programme was good.

It's that classic truth that life happens whilst you're making other plans. Trying too hard and reinventing the wheel every moment can prevent you from being in the present. Perhaps it's all just ego. Whilst it brings me original gifts, I often think I'm missing something obvious - that opening and letting go bring rewards. That rather than losing myself by submitting to someone else's view of the world, I release energy, relax entangled thinking and experience the joy of the present through moments of trust. You could call it faith. When icon painters copy their old masters they feel they find contact with the painter of the past through copying their brush strokes and physical style. Their spiritual vibration is passed on through these bodily traces - the way they made their marks and laid down paint, with vigour or gentleness. The student almost channels them like the way you can feel people if you copy their handwriting, it helps you gain insight into them if you listen carefully to the way it makes your body move. Perhaps the same is true for knitters. So here's to knit kits and the gifts they bring and to the melding of creative minds between those who lead and those who follow and the deep peace it can bring to just go with the programme and allow someone else to take the creative strain for a little while.