The sky is a good teacher. Everytime I remember to look up it tells me where I fit into things. I was lying in bed so full of troubles, busyness, tiredness, and struggle and then I noticed the sky and it said deeply; There is time and endlessness. There is joy that is not dependant on any happenings at all. There is light in everything.
I felt connected to all the moments of time I've ever experienced. As though all the time I've had was there in one present. Deep and full. The happenings and particular circumstances of my life seemed to have no intrinsic measurable value in themselves - neither good nor bad, pleasant or unpleasant. They were simply experiences being had. I was, for a moment, beyond the everyday yardstick of measuring pleasure and pain.
Of course it could have been the very sleep deprivation itself bringing me these moment. I'm so busy that sleep seems to be something that other people do.
But even amongst all the doing and fretting, the sky is there anyway. Happiness that is dependant on 'things' is always obscuring and transforming. Like Clouds. But like Sky, happiness that is free from conditions is there anyway and it's beautiful. It's just so damn hard to notice.
They don’t really talk to me anymore
1 day ago