FO sightings

Completing knitting projects has been the joy of this week. I worked hard as part of my ongoing decluttering detox. I realise though, that I am a process knitter, not a product knitter.
If you are a product knitter and you happen to be stranded on a desert island with one ball of yarn, you finish knitting up your item and then set about looking for suitable fibres you can fashion into yarn for your next product.
But if you are a process knitter, you would unravel your carefully made item and start over again with the same ball on something else.

I love the process. I love the feel of it all, I love the balls of yarn half way through, the soul of a thing unfinished.
This is a major hindrance to completion.
I appreciate the anxiety expressed by knitters about making the potential thing, into a thing. It's such a commitment. This week though, I have committed. I finished a bunny.

I't Rowan baby alpaca and it's SO soft it slipps out of your hand. A floppy little grey thing that is a sensual delight. I meant to give it away but I put it in my bed. Very unseemly for someone my age. But it makes me happy.

I finished another one skein wonder. This one actually doesn't cut off the circulation under my arm pits so that's a bonus. Lovely soft stretchy knitting - cashcroft aran from Classic yarns.

I even nearly finished another one. This is Rowan felted tweed - a bit sticky to knit with but I ploughed through and it does what it says on the tin. Good, solid, strong, warm. There's no mistaking it. It will double up as a floor cloth and survive.

At this point I notice I'm having a grey phase.

And once this is done I'm going to finish another fabulous alpaca shrug. Oh i love that alpaca shrug. I've been knitting it since 2007. It comes around the country with me. It's Blue sky baby alpaca. It's pure love. I am so scared of finishing it. It smiles at me from my knitting basket. I put my hand in to feel it now and then.
Soon it will be over...sigh.

The good things in life.

I managed to screw up my banking this week which left me unable to access any money whatsoever. I had to have a round up of all the loose change in the house just to go out food shopping. It was tough working out how to feed and transport myself all week on a handful of cash and in some places I failed miserably - how do people strapped for cash buy rounds of drinks or manage to be sensible in health food shops? It dominated all my activities - no treats and everything had to be planned.
It was sobering and a wee bit miserable and made me realise that what I do seems to be what I can afford to do - it's made me realise I have a lifestyle!

This is a bad thing because it means that making an ordinary cup of instant coffee from the office kettle makes me a different person to the one that buys an expensive cappucino on the way. My imagining of myself and who I might be is subtly connected to the social meaning of the things I can buy. Living in a tribe probably isn't any less of a lifestyle but perhaps more of the defining objects are free!

I think the fact that luxuries make us happy is inbuilt in that chimps will seek social status. It's survival. So 'lifestyles' are really all about how we think we measure up and that's all about fear. It's scary stuff because the meanings in all this are constructed. Somone somewhere knows this, and they've got us by the balls.

My budget adventure has made me appreciate the things i've had and made me wonder - why is it that, if all the good things in life are free, I'm not doing more of them.

Late Night Plans

The fuss about quilts has got me thinking about returning to my 'Lifelong quilt' that began life in Spring 1994. Peace effervesces from it and dappled sparkley light from the huge swooshing trees outside the windows of my Mother's house appear on it when I look at it, still in progress. It was abandoned to make a big quilt for a friend that had patches of poetry written into it and then I started moving, living here and there, carting the box of pieces around various homes and having an ever extending project list. Not once have I imagined I wouldn't finish it in the last 16 years; it is an absolutely ongoing and current project. It was just about this time of year that I started it. You can't get the material anymore so It being made slowly out of scraps and finds. It is MY quilt in such an importantly soul enhancing way and I am thankful for the quilt fuss. I will make plans to get my sewing machine fixed today.

On to other less savoury magpie habits, I am enjoying these clashing acrylic nasties bought for a pound from the market.

I am enjoying the smallness of these needles. Ilove all things small. Stacking tupperware, travel toothbrushes, that mini-dental floss you see at M&S checkouts - SO cute. And so I love my new tiny bamboo needles. Only 20cm long and absolutely exactly what I need for bunny making.

Big things are also good.

And this is just plain and simple good.

Bunny Birthing

I recieved this pic of a Knitted Nursery display in a bookshop window!!

More bunny activity has been taking place.
This one will go to a new born wee thing born
proudly into a Deaf family.

It evolved in my bag on the morning trains.

Currently legless but almost ready for its last journey.

Small Successes

I found time to catch up on some zzzzz

The kitchen is finished! hooray

The first project from the book was made by a Raveler which makes me so happy. Here a bunny made from Rooster Yarns:- http://www.laughinghens.com/ takes a trip to Yo Sushi

And I found time to knit in front of a film about vampires !?!

And there it was - the sky

The sky is a good teacher. Everytime I remember to look up it tells me where I fit into things. I was lying in bed so full of troubles, busyness, tiredness, and struggle and then I noticed the sky and it said deeply; There is time and endlessness. There is joy that is not dependant on any happenings at all. There is light in everything.



I felt connected to all the moments of time I've ever experienced. As though all the time I've had was there in one present. Deep and full. The happenings and particular circumstances of my life seemed to have no intrinsic measurable value in themselves - neither good nor bad, pleasant or unpleasant. They were simply experiences being had. I was, for a moment, beyond the everyday yardstick of measuring pleasure and pain.
Of course it could have been the very sleep deprivation itself bringing me these moment. I'm so busy that sleep seems to be something that other people do.



But even amongst all the doing and fretting, the sky is there anyway. Happiness that is dependant on 'things' is always obscuring and transforming. Like Clouds. But like Sky, happiness that is free from conditions is there anyway and it's beautiful. It's just so damn hard to notice.

Sunday

The shock of the clocks going forward was tempered by a lovely friend bringing breakfast. She's french and everything about her is sophisticated. Sophisticated Sunday breakfast: It's a lovely thing to do for someone and I resolve to pay it forward. She brought me these gorgeous girls!